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Social
++ The nicer you are to your parents, the nicer they will be to you (for the most part).
++ Make friends as soon as possible with a new neighbor. You have no idea how much this will ease
certain encounters in the future. It's easier to have a big party or just generally be loud in your room if
you know that the upstairs (or wherever) neighbor is cool with you.
++ Make friends at the university. This is especially important for you career-minded individuals.
Getting on a professor's good side is one of the most important things you can do at university. If you
see someone sitting in the lunch room by themselves and they aren't studying or doing homework, go
sit at their table and talk to them. Get their name and what they're studying and BAM, you've got an
aquaintance. Then, when you see them around campus/town again, say 'hi'.
++ Even though you may be nervous about talking to random people, the worst you can get is "Go
away."
++ Making friends with janitors at school is a great hint. Feel like having a day off school? Do it. He'll
write you a note, because even though he's kinda weird, he's pretty cool.
++ If you're in a large group that's singing, and you know the tune of the song but not the words, you
can just mouth "Watermelon" over and over. No one watching will be able to tell, except the deaf.
++ Guys, when everything is going perfectly with your relationship, send your girlfriend flowers or a
Vermont Teddybear. If you can do it well, cook her a surprise meal.
++ If you're standing in a line at the grocery store or wherever, turn to the person behind you and
make small talk.
++ Do not buy your girlfriend or wife flowers in an attempt to make nice after you pissed her off. Every
time she looks at the flowers, she will just be reminded that you pissed her off, unless she has the
memory span of a goldfish.
++ If you occasionally feel like feeding the hungry looking guy with the sign at the intersection, don't
give him money. Your desire to help him get some hot food may end up being exploited to get things
you don't intend. Carry meal coupons to local restraunts. Its real hard to exchange a $5.00 Quiznos
coupon for alchohol or drugs, but it will get them a toasted sub.
++ Learn to apologize. Swallow your pride and do it. It will make your life so much better in the end.
++ Repair your messed up relationships if at all possible.
++ If you're at a party and you don't know anyone, make it a point to meet the host and introduce
yourself. The host can introduce you to other guys/girls and it scores you points so you get invited
back.
++ Don't loan money to friends.
++ Spend some effort staying in touch with friends.
++ If you're in a foreign country, never assume that a particular type of humor is universal. Your clever
sarcastic comment might not go over well at all if the listener isn't familiar with the concept of sarcasm.
++ Remember when you were little and were intimidated by adults and big kids? Play with little kids
and don't think they're dumb, they're smarter than you think. Kids will listen and behave better around
you if you do that.
++ Have a firm handshake.
++ Relearn childhood skills or hobbies that you decided were stupid. They'll often inexplicably impress
people later on.
++ Pay attention to how your coworkers treat waitstaff. It's is generally a good indicator of how they'll
treat people they feel they have some power or control over.
++ Take your hat off during dinner of say, a significant other, or a friend's family that you aren't too
comfortable with yet. It just looks bad to be an impolite punk who doesn't show any manners.
++ If you get in trouble with an authority figure, be as nice as possible, sometimes they let you off if
you display that you have regretted your mistake or are willing to accept consequences.
Alcohol and Bar etiquette
++ If you have a girlfriend and would like to keep her, before you go drinking with the guys shut your
cell phone off and give it to the designated driver. Not so much so she won't call you, but so you won't
call her.
++ Sleep on your stomach if you've been drinking.
++ Before you go to bed when you're drunk, chug a big glass of water and eat a banana. If you don't
like bananas then take a pill with potassium, and eat a package of soda crakers. The big glass of
water is going to wake you up in about 3 hours to go take a pee. When you pee, chug another glass of
water. You should wake up after about 6-8 hours with no hangover, works incredibly well.
++ Don t ever ask a bartender to hook you up. It will make the bartender charge you more for
calls and add mystery charges to your
tab.
++ Red Label Smirnoff Triple Distilled is 80 Proof, while Blue Label Smirnoff Triple distilled is 100
Proof. Generally the blue label has a stronger taste to it.
++ If you've been drinking or are planning on it and you know you're going to puke or you think you
might, avoid all spicy food (from peppers to buffalo wings). They make puking much worse than it
normally would be.
++ When you're given a cocktail napkin or coaster with an excessively wet drink (condensation),
sprinkle salt on it. It will cease to lift up with your drink.
Autos and Driving
++ When purchasing a car, pick the model you want from the lot/showroom and take notes (make,
model, color, options, price etc.) Ask questions of a sales rep if you need to, but don't enter his office
or sign anything. Visit several other dealerships and do the same thing. Take note of the lowest price.
Wait a day or so, then call all the dealerships, starting with the highest-priced one, and ask them to
meet or beat the lowest price you recorded. They'll all ask you to come to them to discuss the matter;
refuse. Work your way down the list, then start over with the current highest-priced dealer. Keep
calling until you can't get a lower price.
++ In the same vein, when making any major purchase like a car or a house, bring a calculator and
check the dealer's math. Learn the formula for compound interest (write it down if you must). If you
find the dealer playing fast and loose with the numbers, call him on it and make as big a fuss as
possible, ideally involving his manager.
++ Always learn the side-streets if you travel on a major thoroughfare. They can, occasionally, be less
congested.
++ Keep in mind that when the light turns red the other guys' light doesn't usually turn green for at
least a second or so. Plus, they have to accelerate and get out to the middle of the intersection. So its
actually safer in some circumstances (you're going too fast, the yellow light is short or you didn't notice
it till late) to just slightly run the red light. to avoid real unsafety, i usually think of red lights as being
bad only if it's red before you're halfway through the intersection. Note, however, that I'm not actually
condoning breaking the law, merely advocating safety.
++ If you need to leave your car in an area where you think it might get stolen, remove some small but
vital part like the fuse for the fuel pump.
++ When changing your oil, take the filler cap off before removing the drain plug.
++ A very good tip for long distance (travelers) drivers: For every 2 hours of driving take at least a 10
minute break, even if you don't have to go to the bathroom, or aren't hungry.
++ Your car battery is getting old, hmmm? Not a lot of cranking power left, and it's cold out. AND you
have to fire that sucker up and be on your way at 3 a.m. Try this: before turning the key, turn the
headlights on for a few seconds. It might seem counter-intuitive, but it works. This process is called
"boot-strapping," as in "picking yourself up by the bootstraps." It warms the battery slightly and
provides a bit more cranking amps for the initial starting attempt.
++ If you live in a part of the country where snow is a regular thing during the winter, do yourself a
favor and find a large, open parking lot the next time you get an inch or two. Drive up there, and
practice inducing spins and then steering out of them. At minimum, half an hour of this is as good as
gold, but ideally you should do it until it becomes second nature for either direction at most any speed.
It's a lot more helpful than reading a description of how to do so.
++ Before embarking on a long drive, give your car a once over: check tires, lights, fluids, and make
sure to have a spare tire -- A real one and the stuff to change it with, not just a donut.
++ Try to keep a "go bag" in your vehicle. Include 20 bucks emergency money, a blanket, a full change
of clothes, lighter, bottled water, some sort of non-perishable food (MRE's are perfect if you can get
them), flashlight and batteries, a jacknife, bungie cords or a good length nylon rope, and anything else
you can possibly think of that you might need. If you ever need to take off in a hurry, you've got pretty
much everything you might need already in the car. This also makes a good emergency kit.
++ Keep a blanket and a snack in your car, not just for emergencies, but for whatever.
++ At strip malls, and most stores, for that matter, there is almost always parking in the back,
regardless of the fact that you'd have to kill someone to get a space in the front. It might be for
employee parking, but there usually aren't signs that say so.
++ Keep a disposable camera in your glove compartment.
++ Learn how to use basic hand tools. This can prove to be near-infinitely useful.
++ Don't baby your car during the break in period. It is not bad to bring the engine to redline every now
and then. It is actually good for the engine, proven by many people, that the engine seals expand
much better when it is exposed the full range of what it is capable of. The thing you don't want to do is
keep it under 3000 rpm during break-in, because I guarantee you that your piston rings wont seat
evenly. Highway driving is bad for new cars, because usually you'll drive at a fixed RPM, which means
again, the piston rings will not seal fully and you'll burn oil in the later days.
++ The break-in period is typically about 500 miles. After this, highway driving is better for your engine
than stop-and-go city driving.
++ Higher octane doesn't do anything for your car if it doesn't need it. Don't put 93 octane gas in your
car if it doesn't need it. It will not give you more horsepower. Instead it'll leave deposits in your engine.
++ Have a stubborned oil filter and it's too tight to get a wrench in there? Use sandpaper to grip it.
++ If you get into a car crash, don't shrug it off just because you can't feel anything. An injury (i.e.
whiplash) can cause a world of hurt later on. As you age, these injuries, which usually don't heal
100%, turn into something much worse.
-to get free air (for your tires) at Shell gas stations, press the button on the side of the pump three
times. The pump will start without you having to insert any coins.
Don't ever buy a car on its very first generation. Most of the time, the tech is just pushed out the door
and used to test it in the field so that the second gen can be much, much more stable.
-- Tips for Getting Out of a Ticket
1. Pull over ASAP, but not if it's dangerous. Turn into a non-busy parking lot if you can, or if you can
turn onto a side road without driving too far, do it. Don't forget the officer has to get in behind you. Take
that into account. Also, pull over as far as possible. The officer will not pull over as far because they
use their patrol car as a shield to deflect oncoming traffic.
2. Turn your parking lights on and your engine off. Roll down your windows and turn on all the lights in
your car. Stay in your car. Keep your hands where the officer can see them, but not on your roof, felon.
The top of your steering wheel is fine. Turn your stereo off.
3. You never know why you were pulled over unless it's painfully obvious. Ask permission and/or tell
the officer everything you are doing; "My license is in my pocket, let me grab that for you." "My wallet
is in my gym bag in back, mind if I grab it?" "My registration is in my glove box, let me grab that."
(leave the glove box open until your registration is back in it) Do things slowly, but promptly.
4. Above all, be polite! Address The officer as "Officer" Not "sir" or "ma'am."
5. Acknowledge that you may have broken the law, but not intentionally. "I don't normally take this
route, officer, I must have missed the sign," NEVER "I was in a hurry." Don't blame your car, your
thottle, cruise control. That's a good way to get an additional fix-it
Just keep in mind, the officer is just doing his job. If you get a ticket, suck it up and learn from your
mistakes.
-I worked at Budget Rentals a number of years ago, so this may have changed. When you make a
reservation for x class car, it means absolutely nothing. They will not go out of their way to get you that
specific size car on time unless you're renting a luxury model. If you show up and they happen to not
have your class they'll do one of two things:
1. Upgrade you for free to the next larger class. This is fine, but you can fuss that you specifically
requested the smaller car to save gas (due to lower MPG). You'll get a small deal, like paying the cost
of the class below your original reservation.
2. The distraction method: They won't even acknowledge your class request, but instead ask "So,
what car can we put you in today?" and indicate the lot, suggesting you look around. If you pick a
larger class car, you'll get charged accordingly. If you pick smaller, you just "requested" that car, so
they're off the hook for your reservation. Or they might ask "Is a Sebring/Spectra/whatever okay for
you today?", again, without acknowledging your reservation. If you say yes, they're off the hook again.
Lesson: know the classes/models and call them on it.
The only other thing I can think of right now is the gas trick. When I was working there, the policy was
that all rentals come ready with a full tank of gas. If the car happened to not be full (lazy
employees/busy day), the employee would just say "so, the meter's at 3/4 tank, just bring it back at the
same." This sucks, because you can't really estimate distance against the meter level, so you'll likely
come back with too much gas, which they keep. Or, you come in under, which they charge you
ridiculous rates to refill. Or, you drive around the block wasting gas and time to spite them 'cause your
meter's too high. Lesson: always request them to fill up the tank and just wait the five/ten minutes.
Cleanliness and Hygiene
++ Lay down some toilet paper in the bowl before you sit down. This greatly reduces the risk of
splashback and noise. Especially useful in public restrooms.
++ Make a conscious effort to smell good. Don't kill yourself with aerosol deodorants like that kid in the
UK did, but shower daily, wear a deodorant, brush your teeth/tongue, etc. Smell works in your favor on
a subconscious level. You don't have to actually stink for it to work against you. On a subconscious
level, you might just smell "wrong." You're not trying to smell like perfume, you're just shooting for
"pleasant," or at the very least "unobtrusive."
++ Brush your tongue if you want your bad breath to go away. Not the front, way in the back. If you
want to eat spicy foods but are a total wuss, do not let the hot part of the food touch the rear sides of
your tongue because that is where the tastebuds that detect spiciness reside.
++ Toothpaste makes a simple pimple cleaning agent if you don't feel like giving your money to Oxy.
++ If you want the freshest breath ever, use a really strong mint mouthwash like Listerine until you
can't bear it anymore, then immediately rinse out your mouth with the hottest water you can stand.
++ If you want to wear cologne/perfume, do not use a scented bodywash unless it is made to
compliment the cologne/perfume (ie Victoria's
Secret Very Sexy II for Him Bodywash and Cologne). After drying off, but before putting on any
clothes, spray the cologne once or twice in front of you and walk through it. Put clothes on afterwards.
This prevents the "smell cloud" effect, people smell it when getting close, but not when passing you in
the hallway.
++ Put a layer of antipersperant on first, and then a layer of deoderant. Deoderant alone does not
reduce sweating, and may result in slight pitstains, especially if you're nervous.
++ When you blow your nose, keep your mouth open a bit. You can actually pop (as in, put a hole in)
your eardrum if you do not.
++ Orbitz spearmint gum has an incredible fresh breath smell range.
++ If you are like me and get shocked constantly no matter where you are, ground yourself with a little
slap against whatever metal object instead of just touching. You'll feel the tap more than the shock.
++ Buy a styptic pencil from a nearby drugstore. It may sting a little, but it will instantly close up any
shaving cuts.
++ If you get one of those annoying cuts on your hands or fingers that don't really hurt but don't want
to stop bleeding, go ahead and put super glue or krazy glue on it to seal it right up.
++ Never cut your toenails so they are rounded (the way you cut your fingernails). They are more
brittle and if you cut them with too rounded of a shape you can get ingrown toenails.
++ Shave in the shower -- shaving is best accomplished when your skin is moist and soft, and the hot
water and steam of a hot shower is the best time for this. Get yourself a small hangable fog-free mirror
(see below) and keep it in there, along with your razor.
++ Many haircare and shaving products have water repellent properties. You can apply these to your
mirror and glasses to keep them from misting up. Shaving cream, hair spray, mousse style hair control
stuff, etc. -- all of these can be applied to your glasses and/or mirrors so you can see clearly to take
care of what you need to in a misty post-shower bathroom.
++ After shaving, store your razor with the blade dunked in rubbing alcohol. This keeps it from rusting
and you can get many more good shaves before changing blades.
++ Do not shake nail polish before applying them, doing so makes air bubbles appear. Roll them
gently in your hands instead.
++ Always wait for your moisterizer to be completely absorbed before applying foundation, that way
your "face" won't slide off in the middle of the day.
++ Sharpen your eye and lip liner pencils before and especially after you use them. It stops nasty
bacteria from growing on them, and if you are in a hurry to use them they are already sharpened from
last time.
++ Press a liberal amount of face powder under your eyes before applying eyeshadow. Brush the
extra powder off with the fallen eyeshadow, and you won't look like a panda. Rest your right pinky on
your face and look down into a mirror when you apply eyeliner.
++ For long lasting lip color, use a lip pencil in a similar shade to your lipstick all over your lips, apply a
thin coat of lipstick, blot with a single ply of tissue, then apply again.
++ Spray perfume into your hair for long-lasting fragrance, but don't use too much as alcohol is drying.
++ Ever pop a zit only to have a red mark appear that's just as bad as the zit itself? Buy some
eyedrops and spread a single drop on the red area. A lot of eyedrop brands out there (especially the
cheap ones) merely have chemicals that shrink blood vessels, hence "getting the red out." After a few
minutes of sitting on your skin, the liquid should help diminish the redness.
++ If you wear contacts that are not specifically designed to be worn while sleeping, for God's sake,
take them off. I don't care how lazy you are. It destroys your eyesight.
++ Keep your bathroom in good shape and try to make sure you match your towels and stuff. Being
mismatched and untidy is a sign of someone
who doesn't care, and guests will notice this.
++ Don't mix bleach and amonia. Ever. This means don't use bleach in your toilet bowl, because urine
has ammonia in it.
++ When packing your bathroom stuff for a trip, be it via car or plane, always pack your bottles of stuff
in Ziploc bags, seperate if possible. That way, if one gets bumped and the cap opens, you don't end
up with shampoo/soap all over everything.
++ Irritability is often the first sign of dehydration.
-Anytime that you book a hotel room through a 3rd party website, like Expedia, you are not actually
guaranteed the room type that you booked. I work at a hotel, and people get screwed over if they
happen to make their reservation on a night when we are sold out. We try to accommodate everyone,
but we only have so many 2 Queen Non-Smoking rooms. So call ahead to be sure that your family of
5 won't be stuck in a Smoking King Jacuzzi room.
Computers and electronics
++ When your ultra-expensive headphones start separating at the weakest part, where the wires
connect left to right, if you melt candle wax over the rupture point, allow to harden, then chip away
carefully any unnecessary crap. You will have a lovely fossilized piece of loose wiring which is unable
to loosen any further, and you can pretend you have a prehistoric mosquito trapped in amber hanging
from your neck.
++ Don't listen to anything too loudly and your ears will be more perceptive. Turn the TV down to the
lowest level you can, and do the same with music. This not only saves your hearing but it makes loud
experiences that much more eargasmic, especially in regards to music.
++ Back up any important data on disk. Your C drive is not indestructable.
++ Keep an extra power supply around, you never know when yours will blow.
++ If you're on a budget, use the 'draft' option when printing long documents, it uses about 1/3 the
toner you'd normally use and doesn't look too bad.
++ Don't skimp on parts. You get what you pay for.
++ Restart once a week, whether you think you need it or not.
++ Take some time to get to know your computer. Seriously, it's amazing how many people are
impressed by the most basic computer knowledge. If you know enough and it is known that you are a
"computer geek," people will offer you money to build computers for them or solve
their computer problems; a very easy way to make a quick buck.
++ Blow the dust out of your computer. This has magically fixed many overheating problems, and
prolongs the life of almost all your computer
compnents. This goes double if you're a smoker, as the tar in cigarette smoke will coat PCBs and the
components on them and cause lots of overheating and damage over time.
++ Back up all of your important files onto something external (CDR/RW, DVDR/RW, or external hard
drive; not a floppy) fairly often. These things are dirt cheap, and hard drives fail a lot. This leads to a
more general statement: Never keep important data in only one place. This applies logically: keep
multiple copies on multiple media -- and spatially: keep some copies in a place other than your room.
Scale this up depending on how important the data is -- for example, you may want to keep invaluable,
mission-critical data on magneto-optical media and put one in a safe deposit box, one in your parents'
house, and one with your uncle in New York. But MP3s are probably safe on recordable CDs or DVDs
in a rack next to your computer.
++ Wet a cotton swab with rubbing alcohol and clean your game cartridge with it. Works much better
than the "blow hard while moving game
up and down" method.
++ Go into a Wal-Mart. Find the lightbulbs. See that Great Value bulb? See that GE bulb? Both of
those bulbs were made by GE. Probably in the same plant. Lots of store brand stuff is like this. Overthe-
counter pharmacy stuff especially.
++ Make sure your speakers are magnetically shielded or keep them way far away from your
computer and monitor.
++ Don't open up a tv and play with it. The capacitor has a deadly charge for a while, even after it is
unplugged.
++ When shopping for new computer hardware, if the sales guy says "buy basically any brand but the
one in your hand," take his advice.
++ When shopping for new computer hardware, if the sales guy says "buy this brand, it's the best,"
keep looking around.
++ Flatten and reinstall Windows once or twice a year. If you have a separate partition or drive, you
won't have to worry about losing that 40GB of completely legal MP3 files, and your system will be
squeaky-clean and error free.
++ Write your Windows CD Key on an address label and stick it to the inside of your case. You know,
just in case (HAR HAR).
Computer buying advice
++ If you have to skimp on something to save some money, skimp on the CPU. Stepping back a few
speeds from the top will save you a fortune
(often 50-80% of the CPU price), and you probably will never notice the difference. The CPU is
probably the least important component these days for general usage. (Within reason - obviously you
won't want to run Windows XP on a Pentium 100.) Need high performance? Get as much RAM as you
can afford, up to 512MB or 1GB.
++ Never skimp on the monitor. The monitor is the single most important component. You stare at it
constantly when you're using your computer, so get one that will fit the amount of space you have,
provide you with enough space to work with all of your programs comfortably,
and run your intended resolution at or above 85 Hz refresh rate. Lower than that and you're causing
eyestrain.
++ Get a good-quality, comfortable keyboard and mouse. Again, you'll be touching these things a lot,
so you might as well spend the extra money (from the CPU reduction ) to get nice ones that fit your
hands and your computing style.
++ Laser printers cost more up front, but they'll save you a bundle over their lifespans. Toner is many,
many, many times cheaper than ink.
++ High-end computer speakers are a waste of money. If space isn't extremely restricted, the best
computer speakers are regular stereo speakers hooked up to a regular stereo or receiver. You can
connect your computer to the unit's RCA inputs with a $3 cable from Radio Shack. Even if you don't
have a stereo to use for this, buying one is a lot cheaper than buying high-end computer speakers,
which can run $200-300.
++ When you're thinking about buying a component upgrade, like a new CPU, give it the following
test:
If someone came into my place when I wasn't here and swapped the new one out with the one I have
now, but everything looked the same,
how long would it take me to notice? If it's longer than a couple of days, it's probably not worth it.
++ Similarly, ask yourself the following question, especially when deciding between a high-end part
and a regular part:
++ This will give me a X% increase in whatever, Y% of the time. Is X% for Y% of the time worth the $P
cost? Actually, apply that to everything you buy, not just computers.
++ Never buy high-end cables, and never buy cables at retail. Cables have higher profit margins than
almost everything except extended warranties. Despite what the marketing and sales people will tell
you, there is no difference. It's been scientifically proven manytimes. It's all placebo. Hooking up some
speakers? Get lamp cord at a hardware store by the foot from the big reels. Need a computer cable?
Order it from a wholesaler online such as Newegg. That USB cable that your printer requires will cost
you $25 at Staples and $1.50 at Newegg.
-Next time you lose your phone charger, don't buy another one. Go to a hotel and say you think you
lost it there. It's the #1 most left behind item at hotels, so most places have a big bin filled with every
phone charger imaginable.
-Holding down F8 while booting into Windows XP for safe mode will often times reveal an
administrator account at the login window that by default is not password protected.
Kitchen and Culinary arts
++ When making tomato sauce for pasta, you have a few options for reducing acidity. You can cut off a
small piece of potato or carrot, add a tiny sprinkle of sugar, plop in a few pieces of paper, or use a
tablespoon or so of jelly and cook it with the sauce.
++ If you ever have a problem eating a hamburger with a leaky bottom bun, eat it upside down. The
top half of the bun tends to be larger than the bottom, and much better padded for soaking up burger
juices.
-- There's a color code subtly incorporated through the bread tie to tell when a loaf of bread was
baked. The color of the tie represents the day on which the bread was baked:
++ Monday - blue
++ Tuesday - green
++ Thursday - red
++ Friday - white
++ Saturday - yellow
++ And to help you remember, the colors are in alphabetical order. BGRWY for Monday, Tuesday,
Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.
++ If you don't have a dishwasher, do yourself a favour and rinse the dishes before you leave them in
the sink.
++ To keep lettuce fresh for days longer, wrap it in paper towels instead of inside a plastic bag, it
works very well.
++ Always tear your salad greens. Cutting salad greens chops open the cells. This means that the
green leaks out quicker, and it'll brown faster. If you tear lettuce / spinach / endive / whatever, you'll
find your salads looking fresher longer.
++ When you measure flour out, use the back of a knife (a straight edge) to "cut" away the extra flour.
Take a big, heaping measuring-cup-full,
and tap the top with the back of the knife. Tap, and push the excess off. This should take about 30
seconds - if you're just cutting off the excess, you're not doing it right. Flour bunches up, which means
you can have big pockets of air in a cup. You may think you're getting a cup, and really only be getting
a few tablespoons.
++ Always use real butter, real sour cream, and real half and half. Those dairy products have strong,
heavy flavors and really make a difference in cooking.
++ Always eat your toast upside down. that way the butter goes on your tongue. it tastes much better.
++ To de-core a head of Iceburg lettuce, hold the head by the top, core-side down. Give it a swift slam
on a hard countertop. The core will come free with very little effort from the head.
++ Eat vegetables, and lots of them. Your parents weren't kidding.
++ Put some absorbant paper under your cheese in the fridge, all excess moisture will be absorbed by
the paper and the cheese won't become
moldy.
++ Tie your plastic grocery bag handles at the top before putting them in the trunk of your car. That
way you won't have rutabegas and bologna spread out all over when you get home because you drive
like a maniac.
++ For a quick meal, seal some fish in tinfoil with whole vegetables. Heat at 420 for about 20 min.
++ To peel garlic, put a clove on the cutting board and smash it with the flat side of your knife.
++ Always put frozen spinach in a towel and squeeze out the water before using it in any type of dish.
++ Cubes of sugar in biscuit barrels help the biscuits stay crisp.
++ To cook the perfect Digiorno/Freschetta/etc rising crust pizza:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F
2. Place pizza on the middle rack, no pan.
3. Cook 16-18 minutes for "delivery" style crust (slightly crispy, still able to fold without cracking), 25-28
minutes for brick oven
style crust (crispy, cracks when folded).
++ Boil eggs straight from the fridge, and drop them in a dish of cold water when they're done. They
peel like magic.
++ If you need to slice a lot of mushrooms, a good egg slicer does it extremely quickly.
++ Let cooked meat "rest" after you take it off of heat for about 5-10 minutes before you cut into it. This
allows the hot juices to redistribute. Thus, when you finally cut into it, the juices don't run all out of the
meat leaving you with shoe leather.
++ When making scrambled eggs, keep the heat low until the eggs begin to curdle. Then jack up the
heat to full and finish them off to just before done. This will keep as much moisture as possible inside
the egg without overcooking it.
++ When microwaving leftover pizza, it tastes best if you wrap the slice in a damp paper towel.
++ If you're having trouble opening a jar, and you don't have one of those rubber jar openers, you can
whack the lid against a hard surface a couple of times. If that doesn't work, hold the jar lid under hot
running water for about half a minute. Works every time.
++ Do not wash your pasta, unless you're making a pasta salad. If you're serving sauce with pasta,
keep the starch on. Putting olive oil in the water is useless, and a waste of olive oil. Always salt the
water in your pot, but wait until the water has come almost to a boil before adding it.
++ Salt is not just a seasoning, it is a flavor enhancer. That's why just about every recipe for cake, for
example, calls for at least a pinch of salt. On the other hand, don't over-season with salt when you're
cooking. You can always add salt later.
++ Do not clean knives with steel wool. This can cause for painful experiences.
++ When ordering from Papa John's pizza, turn on the broiler and when your pizza gets there, stick it
in the oven since it's never cooked the way it should be.
++ A single bay leaf can add an incredible amount of flavor to sauces and other wet dishes like chili
without being overbearing.
++ If you use vegetable peelers, sharpen or replace them regularly. They seem insignificant, but it
helps a lot to have a good one.
++ To keep brown sugar from getting hard, put an end-piece of bread in the bag with it. Works
wonders.
++ When eating spicy food, try to eat some sour cream with it. It contains an enzyme that helps control
the burn on the way in and on the way out.
++ A couple of grains of rice in a salt shaker will absorb moisture and keep the salt from turning into a
miniature brick.
++ The best time for microwaving popcorn is 2 minutes and 17 seconds.
++ A blunt knife causes more accidents than a sharp one.
The "Special" of the day is usually what is left over and is going bad, we need to get rid of it and
make a profit somehow.
* If you send your soup back because it's not hot enough there's a good chance we will just warm up
your spoon instead.
A lot of times the side of lemon slices you ordered with your water were not washed before being cut.
-When bread or cheese turn moldy, don't just scrape or cut off the mold and eat it. What you see is just
the sporulation - the actual fungus (and all the lovely things it secretes) is likely growing throughout
that piece of bread or cheese, and only sporulates once the oldest parts start to die. So when you cut
off the mold, you're still eating mold, as well as all kinds of lovely antibiotics and possibly toxins that it
secreted into the food.
Games and Sports
++ When playing rock paper scissors, 90% of humanity goes scissors on first turn.
++ Never hit in blackjack if the dealer has a 2-6 showing and you have a hand of over 11. If you hit
and get a 10 and bust, the guy next to you will punch you in the face since he only had an 8 or
something and really needed that card. The dealer will most likely bust in this scenario anyway.
++ The best way to score a point at air hockey is to hit it straight into the goal directly. It is
unexepected by your opponent because he assumes, like most, that you will try to bank it off the side.
Always hit it as hard as you can. This tends to scare the crap out of them because if it is done right,
the puck may fly off the table and the fear that it will nail him in the face is there causing him to turn his
head or wince at every shot you make. Make the person cry for his mom.
++ Tighten fishing knots inside your mouth -- just utterly swamp them in spit. This reduces friction
damage to the nylon line so you end up with a stronger knot.
++ If you go snowshoeing, make sure you pack light. And leave room in your pack for the clothes
you're going to be taking off.
++ In chess, opening with king's pawn frees your bishop and queen, if you like to get them out early.
++ Don't move your rook's pawns early in the game if you can help it. You'll be left with less defense if
you need to castle.
++ If you're canoeing, make sure you put your car keys in a watertight vessel that floats.
++ During many a Monopoly game, you will have a choice between making a risky deal that has a
small chance of winning you the game, or dying a slow death, because you haven't the properties to
win the marathon.
++ Screw moleskin, duct tape the hotspots on your foot. This will completly prevent any friction on
your skin. This can be used both before and after blisters form. Wool socks are always a good idea
too, as they draw sweat away from your foot.
++ On a long hike, bring some corn with you. After three days of walking you'll love your fresh
popcorn.
++ There are powdered drinks (just add water) you can buy in pharmacies meant for people
recovering from diarrhea. Add some of that to your water bottle. Not only will it help cover up the taste
of your chosen purification method, but it will give you extra elctrolytes and vitamins.
++ The higher you go, the less air and clouds there is to block out UV radiation. It may be -10C out,
but you will burn at 5000 metres. Wear strong sunblock.
++ Walking poles, especially the spring loaded variety, take a lot of the weight off of your legs when
hiking. They also help you breathe more efficiently as your arms are elevated. Get some with a
tungsten carbide tip. Trust me when I say that they may save your life someday. When you're wearing
a heavy pack and traversing difficult terrain you do not want to fall.
++ Look out for your friends when climbing. If they're complaining of a bad headache they may be on
the verge of acute mountain sickness. Stop where you are and administer diamox if necessary. Climb
high, sleep low.
++ Keep a tin of altoids with you, and right before you take a big drink of water, put it in your mouth
and chew it up. When you drink the water, it will feel a lot cooler than it really is.
++ If you want to build muscle mass, work out in short reps that are difficult/heavy.
++ If you want to tone, work out for a long time with easier runs/lighter weights.
++ A good trick to exercising is to work different sections of the body different days. That way you can
work on your arms as you give your stomach time to heal.
++ There is always time for a few sets of pushups and sit-ups in the morning, and they're free.
++ It's a lot easier to work out if you do it with a partner or a group. You will get a much better workout
and always show up. You can't just decide not to show up if someone else is counting on you.
++ When working out, be aware of the pain that's going to make you stronger and the pain that will
break you. Don't work out on a torn muscle, but when those acids in your body build up from the
strain, work through it.
++ Nike and Saucony shoes run thin. New Balance shoes run wide.
++ Don't play basketball in running shoes or you risk twisting your ankle.
++ When spelunking, always wear a helmet, and always have a spare flashlight. Caves are one of the
few placse you can see absolute darkness, and it sure isn't a place you want to be stuck. Go with a
friend, and make sure people know where you are.
++ Running is bad for your knees over a long period of time. Biking is better.
++ If you're going to the gym or running, tie your key in your shoe laces. Make sure to double knot.
Remedies and Cures
++ Brush your teeth twice a day. Floss, too. Not only will your mouth feel cleaner, it will actually be
cleaner.
++ To stop a coughing fit (when you swallow liquid): breathe in deeply and hold your breathe for ten
seconds, then you should feel ready to make one good cough to clear your throat. Breathe in and out
slowly until the spasm passes.
++ Fish oil pills really do reduce cholesterol.
++ For the flu, sleep as soon as you feel it coming get home and get sleeping, force yourself to sleep
as much as you possibly can. Two parts LemSip (or Theraflu for Americans), maybe a little honey if
you want it sweeter, will help you sleep very well. With enough sleep, you can kill flu in 48 hours.
++ If you ever feel sick to your stomach, suck on an orange peel. The acid will reduce the sick feeling.
++ Sleep more than you think you should, always. Don't wake yourself up in the middle of a sleep
cycle unless you have to get up, it will mess you up worse than anything else.
++ Taking vitamin B-6 and Vitamin C will reduce risk of a lot of diseases.
++ If you can't get rid of a cough you have, drinking a tablespoon of cod liver oil. It'll go away instantly.
++ To clear your sinuses, eat a lot of wasabi. It will hurt tons, but your sinuses clear almost
instantaneously.
++ The cure for the ice cream headache:
1. Cup your hands against your face, covering your mouth and nose.
2. Breathe very slowly out of your mouth, so hot air enters your nostrils.
3. Count to 3-Mississippi in your head.
++ If you need to look at something in a dark room and your eyes haven't yet adjusted to the
darkness, look directly to either side of what you're trying to see. You'll see the object better.
++ Don't eat food after 6pm.
++ Grape and cranberry juice makes climbing stairs a cinch.
++ For sore throats & canker sores, gargle with warm salt water.
++ Clip your nails after you've had a shower. They're all soft and much easier to cut.
++ Do stretches in the morning and night. Not only does it ease the future tension that you'll be forcing
on your joints throughout the day (stronger muscles = less pressure on joints), increasing blood flow
works wonders for your body.
++ Drink water whenever you're studying. Studies show that most people can concentrate and learn
much more if they keep their brains hydrated. It helps flush out your filthy system- why not, then?
++ Use warm water to brush your teeth, it softens the bristles so you can have an easier time
massaging the gumline. Then rinse with cold water, which refreshes and makes everything contract
back up.
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